Stubborn??

Is it just my stubbornness? For not letting go?? It's so torturing. I just had my peacefulness for a week and yet everything comes back again. Damn it. I really thought of letting go. But whenever I see his name in my MSN, I just couldn't stop myself from messaging him. What's wrong with me? Can't I just have some peacefulness? It really hurt whenever he does that to me. Replied with just 1 word? Guess he's tired after the flight. I should be thinking like that. Am I lying to myself? Am I making up excuses for him? I just gotta say that I'm unimportant to him. 

 

     What I see from mum and dad really scares me. Kinda losing faith in love. I really don't wanna be in this game anymore. It's so insecure. Love can never be eternity. It's just a fake promise. My heart ache. It does. That's why I don't like to log into facebook. Because I know there will be a lot truth in it. Is it time to wake up now? Fairy tales, do they really exist? 

          I think I've made my decision. I'll just sneak back into the shadows. To where I belong. Cause I never fit in this world. I'm afraid of loneliness and yet, loneliness stays with me. Maybe I should just get used to it and be alone for the rest of my life. 

               Gil told me that she would be around for me. But I doubt that. Does she really care about what's happening around me? To me, she just care for herself. But that's a good thing too. Why do you care so much for the people around you? Yet, they are the ones that hurt you so much. I can never blame Gil, I just hate myself for being so weak. Guess it's time to stand strong.