My First Time

So this is my first time being in a relationship and it's a disaster already. I don't even know whether I'm considered in a relationship or not. 

Bii made me look like a third party now. He's telling everybody he got a girlfriend in Malaysia. Then who am I?? A replacement object?? I'm trying my best not to be so serious most of the time. But if you really love that person, will you at least make that person feel special?? Clearly that I made Bii a special one but who am I to him?? 

I felt so stupid right now, right at this moment!! I put in so much efforts. Does this even mean slightly to him?? I changed myself to make him proud, but he never change a single bit for me. I tolerate. But everyone's patience has a limit. 

Whenever it comes to love, my life is in a mess. I just don't know how to handle properly. And I always got bothered by this stupid matter. Damn it~~ !!! 

Is there anyone out there that actually appreciate?? For god sake~~ Love is so pure and innocent. But they just make it become black and dark and difficult. 

Bii said he's not good in memorizing numbers. Fine. He forgets my birthday, it's alright. I'll remind him. But, please~~ at least make me feel secure. I'm like worrying everyday, when will I be losing him??