Bravery...

Finally I wrote it out. I wrote all my feelings in the notebook that I'm going to give him tomorrow. If he ever opens it, he will know about it. But if he doesn't, means its through. It's the end of it. I decided to let him know, means I'm ready to let go. Cause I know, I won't get any answer from him or he'll just turn me down. This is what I wrote:


     The reason I pen this down is because I couldn't find the words to tell you. Didn't mean to burden you at all. Now that I understand, when you told me that you heart ache when you saw her with another guy. The same feeling is flowing inside me now. Every time I see you with her, my heart ache. I don't know when I started to have this feeling. This is why I've been acting strange lately and this is something that I can't figure out. I know it's not right. It's so wrong to fall for you. I'm sorry! I know my life is boring because there is only music. I never hope that this love would be returned. I just wanna be honest with myself. And I trust you. Promise me, go after your happiness. Don't wait for it to come. You are not alone. Just remember, I will always support, care and be there for you. The poem "Passerby" that I wrote, actually reflecting me in your life. Thanks for allowing me to try to fit in. Hoping that you won't ignore and avoid me after reading this. You are a good friend and I'm beginning to rely on you. I'm sorry, to have feelings for you.


          Sighs...Maybe I really should move on and concentrate in my studies. My future is so important to me. A promise to myself, will never screw my future!! 


               By the way, today Gil told me about Summer again. I'm happy for her but still, I care so much on what he thinks about me. He said something that hurt me again. I'm not an idiot nor crazy. I'm just me. I don't know. The wall between me and Gil is getting thicker. I'm not sure its because of him or its because of me. Maybe I just couldn't fit in. 


Anyway, I'm happy to receive something from Gil and Xbaby. I love them so much. They light up my day. I will try my best to search for myself again. I will be happy!!