Jealousy??

I am not feeling so good today. Kinda emo. I saw his pictures when he was with them in Genting. Wasn't quite happy about it. Will I always be an outcast? I saw PZ too. She was so happy, even though without me. We were once BFF. But I guessed she has totally forget about me. I tried to make things better between the two of us but she just didn't accept it. Sighs. I can't believe it. Our friendship, of 16 years, gone. We can never turn back time. Now I understand this quote. 


     Besides PZ, I was not happy because I saw him and that girl wearing the same pattern of shirts. Is it coincident or on purpose? Why should I care so much? He's not my anybody. Why should I be jealous? I should have guessed it. A guy with four girls in a room. What can I think? He still replied me. So? Does that make any changes? I was hurt, angry, sad and disappointed with myself. 


          And yet I still hope that I had a place in his heart. Maybe I should be living in my memories. Never to wake up. 


               Had a great chat with Gil in the night. I really need someone to talk to. Atleast I'm feeling better now. In my mind, there won't be just him. The funny thing is, I told Gil that I love her and how I wish I could fall for her. It's crazy! Ok. It freaked Gil out, I guess. ^^


Went for eye check too. Wow. My eyes were numb after they put something in my eye. Made my eyes so tired and heavy. Gosh. Am I really ready to go for eye laser?? After Final Destination 5?? It kinda freaks me out.