Once Again...

Once again. It was him!! Summer Chong!! He has finally crossed my limit. I really can't forgive him this time. I was listening to Gil yesterday about him. Gil said he didn't mean it. Now I really doubt it. I saw his post in fb about his convocation. I just thought of asking cause I might make it back in KL for it. When he replied, as usual, rude and without manner, told me the venue and time. At the end of it, he also added, don't ask why and how. Excuse me? What does that mean? I pulled out the thorn yesterday, making myself change my view for him. Still wounded but I'm trying to make it heal. But today, after I saw what he replied, this time is not a thorn. It's a knife. Stabbed straight into my heart. What am I to him? Nothing but an animal? I think he treats his dog better than he treat me. I'm even worst than an animal?? I've had enough of him. It's enough. I'm a human and I need to be respected. 


     I took him as a friend. I really was thinking to go to support him in his convocation. Guessed I'm nothing. 


          I had been crying the whole day. First of all, violin. Violin lesson didn't go well. I got frustrated with myself. Disappointment. I hate myself. I wanted to do well. Mum was nagging also. Mum was giving me pressure. I can't let anyone down especially myself. I had nothing left except my future. 


               JM also. I know he was trying to make me forget about it and was trying to calm me too. But I think it wasn't sincere. He was fooling around and that pissed me off. Why is it has to be like that?? Why everything turn out to be so bad?? Now I really felt like an outcast. I'm nothing. Nothing at all!!