Hopes??

I really thought JM was giving me hope again. In love. I really gave up when everything turned out so badly. I gave up love. I gave up once when Mevin turned me down. I found myself falling again when I meet H. Ended up, not what I always wanted. And in the second thought, H wasn't the one for me. I just misunderstand my own feelings. I treat H as a good friend and a good brother. It just them, who mislead me. 
When JM chat with me again, he gave me hope in love. He's the first person who has respect me for who I really am. When Summer treated me that way, I really thought that all guys are the worst thing in this world. I never wanted to believe or love any of them. 
I told myself that every time all of this happen, it's either not the right time or the right person. And I am so true about it. When I wanted to believe in love again, I wanted to know JM more, that's when the truth appeared. JM told me that he loves a girl. Waited for her just like me. I have been waiting all these while. He told me, I should let go and that will make me feel much better. I really felt happiness. Cause someone cares for me. When I'm sad, he pampered me. I really felt blessed at that moment. I never thought of a guy treating me that way. Especially after the incident with Summer. 
I really hated guys!! They can make you laugh and in the same time, make you feel miserable. Sighs. Luckily he told me so early. So that I'm not so into him. I still can pick myself up. 
Anyway, I will always keep JM as my close friend. He's really a nice guy. And atleast there is someone that will pamper me when I'm down. He told me, how he wish that they are official. Deep inside my heart, how I wish I can make you mine. 
Guessed, it's time to let go again. Should love myself more. And now I really love this book, 'If you could see me now' by Cecilia Ahern.