I cried today. Maybe because I'm too worried about him. Didn't see him today. I'm really really worried. Wonder what's wrong with him?? Couldn't call him today. My phone was taken by Khayee. She doesn't allow me to call him. She doesn't want me to step in too deep. She wanted to pull me out from the hole. I was wondering is it wrong to care for a person I care so much?? I was wondering whether he was angry with me anot?? I don't know. I just don't recognise this feeling?? I let my emotion take over me. I really couldn't think properly. How am I suppose to let go when I don't even want to let go. I want to shout out all my feelings. I want to tell him how much I care for him. It's so suffering to see a person u care so much and he's sick!! I want to be right next to him. Finally I called him in the night. Not letting anyone know. Explained alot to him. Told him that I wanted to call, but couldn't find my phone. Lie to him!! I feel so bad.
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I hate JOHN!!! JOHN KONG!!! I can't believe he said those things in front of Ms Mee Mee. He can't say that. Why does he have to let everyone knows?? Sighs. Hope he won't say anything stupid again tomorrow. I don't want H to know about it. I don't want him to think that I trying to get his attention. Or letting everyone knows about us. I just want us to be us. I didn't ask for anything more.
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