I'm really sorry...

I really want to tell him how sorry I am. I want to hear his voice. I really really am sorry. I didn't believe him. I promised that I'll believe him no matter what happen. Told Gillian about it. She told me that we need time to calm ourselves down. I'm giving him time. I'm giving myself time too. It's just too much for me. I couldn't handle it well. I really afraid of losing him. Even as a friend. I'm afraid of not seeing him tomorrow. Afraid that he won't talk to me, won't look at me, won't smile at me. I have so much to worry about. My performance, assignments, presentations!!! Why am I wasting time here worrying about how he will treat me??I don't know...